I happen to be a perfectionist and tend to be very critical of myself. I dwell on my weaknesses and downplay my strengths. I think this is a common problem for many LDS people.
Since nobody is perfect, we can assume that all of us have certain weaknesses that keep us from being as spiritually in tune as we would like to be. Many of us kneel each day and ask the Lord to help us overcome our weaknesses and imperfections.
In Mosiah 3:19 we read:
"For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord."
Some of us might wonder where our weaknesses come from, and there are many possible sources. Some people might say that they are responsible for their own weaknesses. Others might say weaknesses come from heredity or environment. Some may blame the devil for their weaknesses. None of these theories are quite correct, however (Hartman Rector Jr., “From Weakness to Strength”, 1970).
We can find the Lord’s answer in one of my favorite scriptures, Ether 12:27:
“[I]f men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”
The Lord gives us weaknesses so we will be humble. This makes us teachable. This does not mean that the Lord is responsible for sin, however; he is only responsible for our weaknesses. All men and women have weaknesses in one form or another, character traits that make us more subject to one particular temptation than another.
Giving us weaknesses is one of the Lord's ways of getting our attention. He says that weaknesses make us humble, but he also says that if we will come unto him and have faith in him, he will make our weaknesses into strengths. I know this is true. There are numerous examples in the scriptures that vividly illustrate this principle—Alma and the sons of Mosiah in the Book of Mormon, Peter and Paul in the Bible, just to name a few. Alma was going about tearing down the church until he met an angel who turned him around and made him one of the greatest missionaries we have any record of in the book of Mormon (Mosiah 27:8-11). Paul, or Saul, was out persecuting the saints when he met the Lord on the road to Damascus. After this experience, Paul became one of the greatest missionaries we have record of in the Bible (Acts 9:1-3). In his own words, he declared: "I can do all things through Christ which strengthened me."
We all have at least one weakness, but we need not despair; we don’t want to neglect it, but we don’t need to worry about it, either. Looking at our weaknesses can point out where the Lord expects us to excel. And we will excel, because the Lord will make us strong; our weakness will become the strongest part of our personality when we come unto the Lord in humility and exercise faith in him (Rector, 1970).
The difference between true humility and self-defeating feelings of inadequacy is the response to our situations. Upon recognizing our weaknesses, we have several courses we can take. One person might close themselves off from others because they feel that they are not as good as those around them. Another might feel jealous of people that they believe to be strong and capable. Personally, I am quite familiar with both these coping mechanisms. A better alternative is to turn to God and seek His strength. True humility, like that possessed by the Savior, is in our relationship with Our Father in Heaven, not in comparing our abilities with those of other human beings (Craig James Ostler, “Humility gives strength when weaknesses arise,” 2010).
Ether tells us that it is by the Lord’s grace that our weaknesses are made strong. Grace can be defined as a “divine means of help or strength, given through the bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ.” It is “an enabling power.” (Bible Dictionary, p. 697)
Because we have weaknesses, we sometimes go through difficult trials. Of course, some trials don’t come from our own weaknesses, but certainly some do. No matter their source, the Lord will help us with our trials in the same manner that he makes our weaknesses into strengths. Since members of the LDS church are taught to be self-reliant, sometimes we try to resolve life’s challenges ourselves, without seeking the intervention of the Lord. For whatever reason, we try to carry the burden alone. I know I have done this before, and I’m sure many of you have, as well.
Jesus taught that we pass through trials to refine us “in the furnace of affliction” (1 Ne. 20:10), and that we should not bear them unaided, but “in [the] Redeemer’s name” (D&C 138:13) (Gene R. Cook, “Receiving Divine Assistance through the Grace of the Lord,” 1993).
Even when we’re not experiencing grievous trials, life often feels like a great pile of obligations, frustrations, and disappointments. There are times when we are fearful, when the stress and busyness of life seem to overwhelm us, when we feel adrift from the Spirit. Perhaps we even feel as though we have been abandoned. But the Lord is there, always the same, His arms still outstretched (Kathleen H. Hughes, “Remembering the Lord’s Love,” 2006). He testifies, “Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee … Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands.” (1 Ne. 21:15–16) No matter how unworthy we may feel or how weak we may be, if we will do all we can, He will come to our aid and provide for us whatever we may lack.
Whether our faith is strong or weak; whether we are a man, a woman, or a child, the Lord’s assistance to us is not based just on what we know, how strong we are, or who we are, but more upon our giving all that we can give and doing all that we can do in our present circumstance. Once we have given all we can, the Lord, through His grace, will assist us (Cook, 1993).
The actions we must take are not difficult. Every Latter-day Saint knows what they are: sincere prayer that is specific and humble, quietly listening for the Lord’s answers; regular scripture study and time to ponder; and a willingness to be introspective about ourselves and to trust in the Lord’s promise that He will “make weak things become strong unto [us].” (Hughes, 2006)
We often feel inadequate and weak during the challenges of this life. We may ask ourselves questions such as: How can we find the right balance between family and work? How can we better serve in church callings? How can we overcome sins that so easily beset us? How can we overcome addictions, impatience, anger, and other frailties and temptations? All of these concerns have a common answer — we must humble ourselves before God and seek His guidance and strength (Ostler, 2010).
Because we have such human frailties, all of us need to change in one way or another. Some of us need to be more kind at home, less selfish, better listeners, and more considerate in the way we treat others. Some of us have habits that need to be changed, habits that harm us and others around us.
As I mentioned before, a dramatic change came to Saul when he was on his way to Damascus. Saul had been “breathing out threatenings and slaughter against the disciples of the Lord” (Acts 9:1). As he was on his way to Damascus, a light from heaven shone about him and he conversed with the Lord, Jesus Christ.
As a result of this experience he was baptized. He immediately began to preach “Christ in the synagogues, that he is the Son of God” (Acts 9:20). Saul, who later became known as Paul, experienced a change that was total, absolute, complete, and unwavering until his death.
The power to change is very real, and it is a great spiritual gift from God (James E. Faust, “The Power to Change,” 2007). There are some who feel, however, that unless they have an experience similar to Saul’s, they cannot change. They stand at the waters of baptism but do not enter. They wait at the threshold of testimony but cannot bring themselves to acknowledge the truth. Instead of taking small steps on the path to change, they want some dramatic event to compel them to change.
Let us not wait too long on our road to Damascus. Instead, let us courageously move forward in faith, hope, and charity, and we will be blessed with the light and help we are all seeking (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Waiting on the Road to Damascus,” 2011).
One time when I was struggling with a difficult trial and yearning for forgiveness, I went to the Liberty Jail in Missouri to pray and ponder. My goal was to stay there until I had a change of heart and was sure of the Lord’s love for me. I was disappointed when after an hour or so, I felt nothing special. On my way home, I drove over a small rise and suddenly, there before me was the Kansas City temple under construction.
Immediately, tears began to roll down my cheeks and I knew that God had not forgotten me and he would help me along my own personal road to true discipleship. It wasn’t a big thing; I didn’t see an angel or hear a voice. All I needed in that moment was the still, small voice letting me know I was loved.
Sometimes, in order to make changes in our lives, we must repent. Other times, repentance is not necessary. In either case, we do need the Lord. The grace of the Lord through the Atonement can both cleanse us of sin and assist us in improving ourselves through our trials, sicknesses, and character defects. We are both sanctified and justified through the grace of the Lord (D&C 20:30–31). Christ can repair flaws and failings that otherwise are not repairable (Cook, 1993).
Some of our weaknesses are small, though not insignificant to us. We might wish to be able to keep a cleaner house, for example. Other weaknesses may be quite profound and feel to us and those around us like a very heavy burden. A particular weakness that many of those I love have struggled with is addiction.
Addiction can be defined as “persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful.” (Merriam-Webster online dictionary) The term addiction can also be used to describe a recurring compulsion to engage in some specific activity, despite harmful consequences, as deemed by the user themselves, to their health, mental state, or social life. Habits and patterns associated with addiction are typically characterized by immediate gratification, or short-term reward, coupled with delayed negative effects, or long-term costs (Wikipedia, “Addiction”).
I feel that sometimes the word “addiction” gets thrown around too lightly. When this happens, I think it is insulting to people who struggle with real addiction. For example, at one point in my life, before I had children, I would play a video game (WoW) for two or three hours most weeknights, and much more on Saturdays. I wondered to myself if perhaps I were addicted to the game. I looked at my life and realized that my work performance was not suffering, my marriage was good, I was reading my scriptures, eating nutritious, homemade meals, keeping my house reasonably clean, and exercising nearly every day. I concluded that since the video game was not negatively affecting my daily life, I was not in fact, addicted to it. My point is that true addiction that has long-term costs is a serious problem that should not be taken lightly.
Some addictions can control us to the point where they do negatively affect our daily life, in part by taking away our God-given agency. One of Satan’s great tools is to find ways to control us. Consequently, we are advised to abstain from anything that would keep us from fulfilling the Lord’s purposes for us. When we lose some of our agency, the blessings of eternity may hang in jeopardy (Faust, 2007). My personal belief is that freedom from enslaving addictions is the main motivation behind the “don’ts” of the Word of Wisdom.
When we are thus afflicted by severe addictions, a complete change in lifestyle may be necessary. We must desire with all our hearts, minds, and strength to overcome these harmful addictions. We must be prepared to renounce totally and absolutely our participation in any of these addictive substances or practices (Faust, 2007).
I recently attended an addiction recovery meeting where a friend of mine was receiving her 12-months-sober chip. Several of the attendees got up in front of everyone to talk about how they were beating their addictions. I found it to be quite similar to an LDS testimony meeting, although with much courser language. I actually felt the Spirit in that room and my heart was filled with so much love for the people who were trying so hard to better themselves and recover from the illness that is addiction.
Some of you may be familiar with the twelve step program introduced by Alcoholics Anonymous. LDS Family Services has a similar twelve step program. I would like to go over the twelve steps of the LDS Addiction Recovery Program with you in case you are not already familiar with them and because I think they can be applied to any serious change we want to make within ourselves.
1. Honesty: Admit that you are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable.
2. Hope: Come to believe that the power of God can restore you to complete spiritual health.
3. Trust in God: Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and his Son, Jesus Christ.
4. Truth: Make a searching and fearless written moral inventory of yourself. As I stated earlier, we must be willing to be introspective about ourselves.
5. Confession: Admit to yourself, to your Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ, to proper priesthood authority, and to another person the exact nature of your wrongs.
6. Change of Heart: Become entirely ready to have God remove all your character weaknesses.
7. Humility: Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove your shortcomings.
8. Seeking Forgiveness: Make a written list of all persons you have harmed and become willing to make restitution to them.
9. Restitution and Reconciliation: Wherever possible, make direct restitution to all persons you have harmed.
10. Daily Accountability: Continue to take personal inventory, and when you are wrong promptly admit it.
11. Personal Revelation: Seek through prayer and meditation to know the Lord’s will and to have the power to carry it out.
12. Service: Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, share this message with others and practice these principles in all you do (LDS Family Services, Addiction Recovery Program, A Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing, 2005)
Addiction is only one of a host of weaknesses and temptations that beset all of us on a daily basis. The twelve steps I have mentioned, while designed for overcoming addiction, can be a useful tool for changing our habits and overcoming our sins.
In conclusion, to be more like Christ, we need to be humble. The Lord gave us weakness to help us learn to be humble. Instead of letting our weaknesses drag us down to discouragement, we would be better served to look at our weaknesses as potential strengths, opportunities to better ourselves. With the Lord’s help, through his grace, and through the power of the Atonement, we can change. All he requires is that we do all that we can do and His grace will make up the difference. I truly believe that with God all things are possible.
References
- The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, “Grace,” Bible Dictionary, p. 697.
- Cook, Gene R., “Receiving Divine Assistance through the Grace of the Lord,” Ensign, April 1993.
- Faust, James E., “The Power to Change,” Ensign, Nov. 2007.
- Hughes, Kathleen H., “Remembering the Lord’s Love,” Ensign, Nov 2006, pp. 111–12.
- LDS Family Services, Addiction Recovery Program, A Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing, Salt Lake City, UT: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 2005.
- http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/addiction
- Ostler, Craig James, “Humility gives strength when weaknesses arise,” Church News, Jan. 2, 2010.
- Rector, Hartman, Jr., “From Weakness to Strength,” Conference Report, April 1970, pp. 139-141
- Uchtdorf, Dieter F., “Waiting on the Road to Damascus,” Ensign, April 2011.
- Wikipedia, “Addiction."
