My Father
My earliest memories of my dad involve goofing around and lots of laughter. He worked hard, but he also knew how to have fun with his kids. He was and is the ultimate handyman. If something needed to be done around the house, he did it himself. If one of my toys broke, I could count on my dad to figure out how to fix it. He bought us our first computer sometime in the late 80's and has been a techie ever since.
My dad is a foodie. He always knows the best restaurants in town. If you take him to a restaurant that's not up to his standard, in fact, you'll never hear the end of it! I'm fairly certain I inherited my love of gourmet cooking from him. At his house, it was always important that the family sit down together at mealtime. He even insisted the three of us kids sit together and have our cereal in the morning after he had left for work.
I inherited my analytical mind from my dad (not that my mom's a dummy!). Although I took far more advanced math classes than he did in college, it's his critical thinking skills, and his determination that I credit with my academic success. I didn't, however, inherit his excellent writing skills. We spent many hours on the phone together when I was in college so he could help me refine my history essays.
My dad can also take some credit for helping me meet the wonderful man that I married. He served an LDS mission in Paris in the 1970's. Growing up, he always taught me songs and phrases in French. I fell in love with the language and ended up minoring in French in college. About twenty years later, C served a mission in Belgium and France. I was in an advanced French grammar class at BYU when I met a caring, funny, open-minded francophile that I just couldn't get out of my mind. More on him later.
My dad is a survivor. In 2006, at the age of 53, he was diagnosed with stage 4 gastric cancer. The 5-year survival rate of stomach cancer diagnosed at this stage is 5%. Against such odds, I'm not sure I'd be willing to put up a fight. Thankfully, he had more courage than I. After several debilitating rounds of chemotherapy, his cancer went into remission. Several months later, it came back. We weren't sure he would live to see his first grandchildren. In 2009 (I think--I'm sure he'll correct me if I'm wrong), he had all of his esophagus and most of his stomach removed. As of his last PET scan, he is still cancer free. My father is a loving, intelligent, amazing man, and my children and I are truly blessed to have him as a part of our lives.
My Stepfather
My mom married my stepfather in 1991 (again, I'm fuzzy on the exact date). It was the summer that I turned 13. Although he entered my life much later than most fathers, I couldn't love him any more if he had been there from the beginning. My stepdad is one of the kindest, most sincere, and most patient men I have ever met. Throughout my teenage years, I only remember him raising his voice once, and even then it was barely louder than his normal speaking voice. Also, I was being a complete brat at the time.
My stepdad is extremely intelligent. He is the doctor that all other doctors refer their tough patients to. He can correctly diagnose problems over the phone that would stump nearly everyone else. His memory is incredible. He has a successful (and closed) medical practice, yet he still sees many of his patients for free. My stepdad definitely taught me to be generous. He selflessly gives of his time (which is very limited) and his substance. He cares for his friends as if they were his family. He also helped me learn the importance of showing gratitude.
If I ever had a problem growing up and needed an out-of-the-box solution, my stepfather is the one I would turn to. He is an amazing listener and a great problem-solver. When I thought I knew all my options and couldn't figure out what to do, he would come up with two or three solutions that I never would have come up with on my own. That is a skill that I hope one day to emulate.
My Father-in-Law
I met my father-in-law after I'd been on 3-4 dates with C. He was the president of a large inner-city stake in Salt Lake City at the time. Despite his busy schedule he always made time to sit and talk with me whenever I visited. I always felt like he was genuinely interested in the things I had to say. It became clear right away that family was his absolute top priority.
Throughout his life, my father-in-law has had to make many sacrifices, both for the church and for his family. I've heard stories of him walking around in shoes with holes in them, so he could afford to buy his wife nice clothes. I've never met a more closely-knit family than my husband's. My father-in-law is a fantastic grandfather. Recently, he took care of my 2 1/2-year-old niece and her 6-month-old brother--by himself, late into the night. I doubt there are many grandfathers out there that would even dare attempt such a feat. I think he's the only one of my children's grandfathers that has actually changed their diapers.
My children are indeed lucky to have three such incredible grandfathers.
The Father of My Children
Last but not least, I must pay tribute to my wonderful husband. A more natural father, I have never encountered. We met in the fall of 1997. He sat behind me in my French class. When we had to pass our homework forward, he often put his paper on my head. He's goofy like that. The first thing I noticed about him was the interest he took in my life, and not in a creepy stalker way. That and his endearing, crooked smile. If I mentioned that I had a dance performance coming up, for example, the next time I saw him he would ask me how it went.
Since we sat near each other, we teamed up on a lot of writing projects. We were assigned to trade papers and double-check the grammar. Although he spent two years speaking French, I think I still got a better grade in the class. When we would meet to work on our homework, we'd finish in about 30 minutes, then spend the next 2 hours talking. It didn't take me long to realize that we were of the same mind on a lot of different issues that young Mormon singles face.
We went on our first date in December 1997. By mid-January, I was in love and certain we would get married. We went to a friend's wedding reception at the end of January and it got us talking marriage. We were officially engaged February 13, 1998 (a Friday) and married August 15, 1998. He was 22 and I had been 20 for a whole 9 days. We were young. We were so incredibly young and naive. Marrying C at that time in my life was the best decision I have ever made.
Our journey to parenthood was long and painful. I'll talk about that more in another post. He has stood by me through mental health problems, medical problems, financial problems, spiritual problems, and all the normal ups and downs that life brings.
As I said, C is the most natural father you can imagine. Since he's a pediatrician, this is not all that surprising. When the twins were first born, I actually felt like he was the mother and I was the father! When the kids were about 8 weeks old, I started taking ballroom dance lessons once a week. People were always so amazed when I told them I had infant twins and that their dad had no problem watching them. As parents, he and I are essentially interchangeable. If I needed to leave town for a week, I wouldn't have to give him a single instruction. When he has to work a 30-hour shift, the kids ask me at least once every few hours when Daddy is coming home.
Just like my father, stepfather, and father-in-law, my husband is extremely smart. He majored in microbiology and minored in chemistry. To earn money during college, he worked as a computer programmer. He was the only non-computer-science-major in the programming department. I have yet to meet a computer problem that he cannot solve. He builds computers, upgrades laptops, designs and maintains web pages, and provides tech support for everyone in the extended family.
My husband is also one of the nicest people you could ever meet. Everybody loves him. He is an incredible doctor with a fantastic bedside manner. He can solve difficult medical puzzles just as well as he can counsel a grieving family. In a year, he will be finished with his fellowship and will finally be able to begin his career. The future looks very bright.
In addition to being a great father and doctor, C is a great help around the house. He cooks, cleans, does laundry, takes care of the cats, and does all the gardening. Just like my dad, he is a serious handyman. Since we bought our house, he's pulled down wallpaper, completely repainted four rooms (including the ceilings of two of them), wired our basement for surround sound, set up our wireless router and internet, replaced showerheads and faucets, replaced our disposal, and several other things that I can't bring to mind at the moment.
C is also an avid photographer. I didn't actually realize this until he bought his first digital camera in 2002. We have more pictures of our children than you can possibly imagine. He also does amazing artistic photos that have won several art contests. Here is an example of one of my favorite photos of his.
I feel so fortunate to be married to such a smart, kind, loving, brilliant, artistic, amazing man.
To celebrate his special day, we went out to a Brazilian steakhouse for dinner last night and then went to see the latest X-Men movie (which was amazing, by the way). Then today for brunch, I made raspberry cheesecake-stuffed French toast and bacon. I'm certainly no photographer, but here is a picture of our yummy brunch:
Happy Father's Day to all the men in my life! Now I need to stop writing and actually give them a call.
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